Hacker News Re-Imagined

But life had other plans

  • 1718 points
  • 3 months ago

  • @JBiserkov
  • Created a post

But life had other plans


@gassius 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

Life finds a way. My wife had generalized tonic-clonic seizure for an entire year (non previous seizure history) without any cause being detected by multiple MRIs. She was taking increasing doses of Levetiracetam that somehow controlled the scope of the seizures but not avoid them completely. After a year of this, we go for another ER visit after the latest one and she ask, somehow randomly, to have a pregnancy test, it comes negative but, finally, the root cause of the seizure does appear on imagery, at that point a low grade astrocytoma. She went into major brain surgery to try to remove it and pathology confirms the low grade astrocytoma, and after a month of recovery, the oncologist recommends to start a chemo and radio therapy treatment.

As the low grade astrocytoma is treatable and with high long term survival rate, he recommends that we might extracts some ovules if we decide to have another kid in the future, as the chemo had a high chance of infertility. We had one son, and being both on our middle to late 30s, we agreed.

We go to her OG for this, and as he is performing an preliminary echography... a heart beat start blasting on the speakers, over two months of his negative blood pregnancy test, after major brain surgery, after major doses of meds of all kinds, she was, indeed, pregnant. We knew exactly when she got pregnant, it was 5 days before that ER visit. She "knew" it that day in the ER, that's why she asked for the pregnancy test (that, once again, came negative).

She decided to have the baby, no matter what the risk for her it was, no matter what risk for the baby it was. Chemo was out the question and radio treatment was a high risk and had to wait for at least another month. 6 months later we had a healthy baby, who is now a healthy 10 year old girl.

Sadly, some months after given birth to her, my wife had a relapse, the brain tumor came back, this time as GBM, a month after the girl second birthday, she passed away.

Life found a way, tho, and my wife never had any remorse of the decisions we made and she would be proud of what her sons are coming to be

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@lelandfe 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

I want to give every single person in this a huge hug. What an incredible story.

I cannot imagine how excited their mother-in-law was to be there for the birth of her grandchild.

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@mgiampapa 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

In the US that would be medical malpractice. A pregnancy test would be standard before this type of surgery.

That said, congratulations for the best outcome.

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@bendbro 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

Thank goodness this was a happy story.

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@maz1b 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

As a recent medical school graduate and a technical founder of a medical education startup, wow. This is an "edge case" for lack of a better phrase and is the kind of stuff that becomes widespread as lore or an interesting story - at least I'd like to think so.

Thanks for sharing your story and I wish you the best with what's next.

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@xnormal 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

BRCA sucks. My sister died from ovarian cancer. She was positive and refused preventive removal.

I need to get checked. And if I am a carrier, my daughters will need to get checked, too.

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@yonatron 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

Something to consider (or if you're dead set against this idea, don't): Sounds to me like God wacking you over the head with a 2X4 and saying "Hey! Hello?! I'm here. (Yes, for both what you humans call "good" and "bad" <smh>) So be in touch, and stop calling Me "Life"!! "

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@phreack 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

This is likely to be the best story I'll read all year. Simply amazing.

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@paraiuspau 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

I love this story, even more so that my wife and I this very week are embarking on our 4th and final IVF cycle. Hopeful stories inspire.

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@JackFr 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

Simply the most lovely thing I have read all day. All week. Hell, maybe all year. Congratulations.

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@landmark3 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

I have an urgent deadline to release some crazy python code and here I am, instead, cutting onions. Beautiful way to start a day, happy life to you and your family <3

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@jurassic 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

Congrats to the parents.

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@TapWaterBandit 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

Congratulations to the new addition to your family!

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@d_t_w 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

Hell of a story Dan! Congratulations on the new arrival and best wishes.

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@psiops 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

Amazing story, and I wish OP and his family all the best! I wonder what the effects of ovary removal will be on the embryonic development. I can imagine the ovaries produce hormones that affect the embryos development. Or is the embryo effectively hormonally isolated by the placenta?

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@rrr83 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

Congrats and good to know it all was fine at the last!

In 2014 when we first decided to have our kids, we tried almost a year but nothing worked out. Then we ended up going through multiple tests, different gynac consultations, too much time/money and emotional roller-coaster where finally doc said we can't conceive naturally because my sperm count was some millions but still less :-) . One gynac said right upto my face that 99% you can't have natural pregnancy ever!

So I started medicines/diet/exercise and almost gave up a hope and started exploring IUI and IVF treatments. We did 4 IUIs, all went unsuccessful, so only hope remaining was IVF. As we were already too tired going through all this for almost 2 years. Even IVF is expensive and we don't have public health care support I decided to take a break and took a project in another country to get some extra savings. After 6 months my wife resigned form her job and joined with me in a hope that we will save some money then go back and try our luck with IVF.

and here Life had other plans fits in - Just after 2 months she started feeling uneasy , so we though it might be some weather or food allergy. After few days she confirmed she is pregnant! that is the most pleasant surprise life has given me ever! We went back and were blessed with beautiful girl.

story continues, in 2020 we decided to take another chance, we were not optimistic as we thought we were very lucky in first place but it worked! super happy and one day my wife called me in office that she had a miscarriage, it was her 3rd month...she had to drive to her office daily.. so yes life had other plans.

We gave up again as we were almost 36+ and then 2020 pandemic started, we said that's it we won't have another child ever. But soon when pandemic gave a relief , wfh started we thought let's try as being at home we could avoid travelling and might help during pregnancy. So we took a chance and it worked again! but this time we had to go through constant fear of catching the virus throughout her 9 months, even post my baby boy arrived it was so tensed moments whenever we had to go out we had this fear that what if we get infected as we didn't have vaccines available till then. Looking back we agree it was a big risk we took.

finally we both are vaccinated, and my boy is about to complete a year!

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@gregorymichael 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

Holy shit that’s the most emotional story I’ve read on HN. My wife and I are in tears over here.

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@danielmarkbruce 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

Hilariously good story.

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@JohannesH 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

Life, while being fragile and vulnerable, can also be extremely resilient.

My cousin and his girlfriend became pregnant a few years ago but the fetus were stuck outside the uterus, so the decision was made to have an abortion followed by a surgical cleansing (a scrape) to make sure nothing was left. The procedure was successful.

After the failed pregnancy my cousin's girlfriend started getting her period again but it was not as regular as it used to be. The doctors attributed it to the recent pregnancy/abortion which could cause irregularities in her hormonal balance etc.

So a while after all this happened, the girlfriend one night had what she believed to be gallstone pain in her stomach. She were familiar with gallstone attacks so that was the most logical explanation. Yet, she was sent to the hospital to have a checkup just to be safe.

You might have guessed it. The nurse at the hospital quickly figured out the cause of pain... She was pregnant and very much in labor. Of course this was 9 months after the abortion so it seemed impossible to her.

So apparently the abortion wasn't successful after all, as they overlooked a second fetus inside the uterus and also missed it while scarping the uterus lining.

So the girlfriend had to call up my cousin at work and tell him he was about to be a dad and that he had to come to hospital immediately. 4 hours later their daughter was born.

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@adius 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

What about injuries to the baby due to medicine, pain killers, or alcohol consumption? Could this be a problem?

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@jo6gwb 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

It's very important for people particularly women to test for BRCA. Men with the gene should alert female relatives. For those women that have the gene there are non surgical options today to prevent some of these cancers.

Highly recommend this documentary from PBS on the topic as well: https://inheritance-brcafilm.com/pbs-documentary

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@vincentmarle 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

> But the most incredible thing: when have you seen the public health service being earlier than planned?

What would have changed about the pregnancy if it wasn't earlier than planned?

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@mcv 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

Not remotely as extreme as this, but we had a lot of trouble conceiving of our second child, after a very complicated birth for our first. We did want a second child, though, so we went through all sorts of fertility treatments, with no results except for one miscarriage. Eventually we were tired of it and gave up. After a few months we were ready to give it another go, and we'd start with new fertility treatments after her next period. That period never came, and we got another son instead (with a much easier pregnancy and birth than the first one).

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@dailygrind___ 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

What a story... glad life found its way. I had a chance to meet you at IG, and that made the story more real than real, so to say. All the best Daniel!

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@spieswl 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

That is an incredible story! Best wishes to the family.

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@otikik 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

Wow what a story.

It reminds me of a joke we have in Spain about unlikely pregnancies. It ends with “If you got pregnant, we’re calling the baby McGyver”

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@verifex 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

Wife and I had an unlikely pregnancy ourselves. We tried for possibly 8 years with no luck, finally we gave in and started the process to do in vitro with entailed lots of tests and everything. Then, the day before we were scheduled to start the process (during xmas no less) and lay down a lot of $$$ for the procedure, wife takes a pregnancy test and shockingly, it indicates positive. Kid was born healthy and happy. I hesitate to call him some kind of xmas miracle kid, but I mean.. the context and everything really drove the point home. :)

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@throwawaysie 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

Sorry for a small hijack. We have been trying a kid for a few years, doing IVF etc. with no luck so far. An endless source of irritation to me is a complete inability of the doctors to show any kind of probability distributions for the process. So, I'd like to find data that answers questions like how many embryos are alive after n days on average and on 10th percentile etc.

Does anyone know a decent data source for these kind of statistics?

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@ausbah 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

I thought this would be another grim medical tale, I'm glad I was wrong :)

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@hunter-gatherer 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

I think I read that entire post in one breath. That was an emotional train that fortunately had a good ending. May the child live a long and happy life.

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@menzoic 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

I was getting ready to read a tragedy but was pleasantly surprised by the ending.

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@la64710 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

Beautiful …. It was so refreshing to read an article with such happy ending.

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@sneak 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙



@olafurnielsen 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

Reading the end of this story made me really happy. I've had a HN account since 2016 and have never commented, until now :)

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@patatino 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

I know two cases when people gave up trying to conceive, they got pregnant naturally.

One was doing IVF, the other hormone therapy. Both needed a break and both got pregnant in this break.

It makes you think how much stress and mind play a role.

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@pcthrowaway 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

Life.. uh.. finds a way

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@dstainer 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

Life, finds a way…

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@cellis 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

Breathtaking! Somehow, the one upvote I'm allowed to give didn't seem enough. I read loads of "cold reality" stories every morning ( I check WSJ, NYT and Bloomberg once in the morning ) and perhaps due to this conditioning, I was expecting something depressing. But this made my day.

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@planetsprite 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

Life.................................................................................................finds a way

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@anonymous344 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

who ever soul was coming - really just wants to live so so badly. You'll give her a good childhood. Life is about joy

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@AndrewVos 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

This is really nice to read. My wife and I went through a similar thing. Her mom found BRCA recently so my wife got tested.

Luckily she didn't have the mutation, but it was a very scary time because we have a young daughter who might have also had it.

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@UberFly 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

"Given that my wife didn’t recall talking with any angel lately..." Haha. That was a well-written tale.

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@MandieD 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

In my late 30's, with the only indication that we were fertile at all having been an ectopic pregnancy many years before, we gave up. We had wanted kids, but our lives were good, with nieces and nephews we love.

A few months before my 40th birthday - and the pandemic - SURPRISE!

We are currently the proud but exhausted old parents of an increasingly rambunctious toddler.

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@ValtteriL 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

What a heartwarming story. Wish the author all the best with the newborn!

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@flobosg 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

What a plot twist! Thanks for sharing.

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@dkmn 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

What a positive and uplifting story. Thank you for sharing, and BTW your writing is lucid, clever, and honest. Blessings to you all!

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@zoom6628 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

Beautiful and uplifting story. Wish all of you the best of times together for the rest of your lives.

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@bajirao 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

Very uplifting. Thanks for sharing this.

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@silisili 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

I appreciate and quite love the story, and congrats all around.

But this idea of putting awful GIFs into a rather serious and interesting story has got to stop. It did nothing but cheapen and interfere with the story being told.

Reaction GIFs are for uninteresting or ineloquent people. Just write how you feel!

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@bioinformatics 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

I love how these new generations loooove to post every single details of their lives. It’s great, but I am looking for some CC numbers next time, maybe a turd pic

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@AnonC 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

“Life found a way out” would’ve been a nice title for this. :)

Edit: seriously, this is a fascinating account of how unexpected some life events can be, and then turn out to bring happiness that was sought but wasn’t expected.

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@makach 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

I have no words for how deeply this article affected me. In the words of the great philosopher Ian Malcolm "Life will find a way."

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@l8nite 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

Thanks for sharing this lovely story! Our whole family was captivated as I read it aloud :). Congrats on the birth of your son and best wishes to all!

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@40four 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

Incredible story! It hits close to home for me because I am in fact a ‘miracle’ baby, although my story isn’t quite as dramatic as this one with the preventative surgery and such. My mother had many miscarriages before me (and one after). The doctors told her she would never have a child. They said it wasn’t possible. And yet here I stand!

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@user_7832 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

That was... one hell of a rollercoaster. All I can say is I'm glad everyone made it out alive.

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@DeathArrow 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

Life finds a way to flourish even in the most difficult conditions.

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@wbear 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

What an excellent coincidence. Congratulations!

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@Aeolun 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

I was so worried this would be another one of those sad articles that I just cannot help but read to the end.

But then everything took a turn for the better :D

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@ivolimmen 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

Wow, love to read stuff like this.

My third kid also had given us a nice surprise. My wife was pregnant; we knew that. We had an appointment with the doctor for the first check-up. We came in and the doctor did not see a baby on the echo. We were not really badly shook up as we lost our first but we where not enjoying it either. Next day I am at work and I get a phone call from my wife. The hospital rang. The blood that was examined before we wend for the check-up had bad values and indicated a possible tumour (but not the bad kind). I raced home, we wend to the doctor. Before actually going into surgery he wanted to do an internal echo just to make sure where it was and how big it was.

There she was. We where pregnant.

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@schultetwin1 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

This is an amazing story! Classic race condition :)

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@ane 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

Several years ago my wife and I agreed we'd actively start making a baby and quit contraceptives. She was on the pill (progestogen-only) and we'd been using it for the better part of three years. Worked fine, she took it religiously at the same time every day.

So we agreed to quit, and the next day she comes to me, awkwardly, saying "It worked!" half-jokingly. I stared at the pregnancy test, positive and unambiguous as ever. At the second test, too.

Turns out she'd been already pregnant for almost a month. That kind of contraceptive is only 99% effective. Our daughter was born eight months later.

Safe to say, the missing percentage is warranted.

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@blumomo 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

Sometimes you need to let go your wishes fully go for them to become true.

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@gfodor 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

Something tells me Lucas is going to be a bit of a procrastinator. Congratulations :)

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@ardillamorris 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

what an incredible hope-giving story!

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@gordon_freeman 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

Wow I am not too religious a person but after reading this I have to say...when God (or some higher force) is with you, miracles likes this can happen.

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@thematrixturtle 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

When my wife and I decided to try for a baby and stopped using protection, the very first pregnancy test she ever took was positive, and we weren't sure we were reading it right because we'd never done this before. Unfortunately she miscarried pretty much immediately (fetus never developed a heartbeat).

We tried again, but had no luck for several years and eventually made an appointment with a fertility clinic. Literally the very next day she tested positive, and we now have two kids.

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@rakibtg 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

I am in tears, also feeling happy for you!

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@aelmeleegy 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

This story seemed so heartbreaking, but the ending was totally worth it.

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@baali 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

The odds of this happening! Beautiful. I wish the best for Lucas and the family.

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@maddynator 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

Got damn. I was so scared to finish the article. Glad i pushed through it

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@graderjs 3 months

Replying to @JBiserkov 🎙

What a beautiful story. A special little baby. I wish her and you both the happiest of families forever! :)

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